6.08.2008

Mute Monday: competition

don't hate me. i cannot be mute this time.
added monday mid day due to confusion: how does this relate to the theme of competition? this is the competition for the worst shyt you could possibly wear. see labels when in doubt.

by now, everyone is aware of my neurotic concern with how one dresses to travel. here we have airport fashion as demonstrated by, what else, a TV and movie star. i get you want to be comfortable. but do you have no sense of obligation to your fellow travelers? this is one of those times i hate flip flops most. or perhaps this actress is getting a jump start on dressing for El-Obama's Amerika. i can't wait to see the "juicy couture" burka. can you? and what is with the head scarf? it makes sense....when you are AUNT JEMIMA!


speaking of burkas, i can think of at least one place it really makes sense. when i join al qaeda, im coming on board with one of those "star maps" they sell to idiot tourists in L.A. Barbara is a fierce competitor for bad fashion; category? age appropriateness. how old is this hag now? 87? maybe we can recycle some of NYC's broke down cranes to jack up these granny tits. please!


what does one say to the rash of ass-writing on clothing? i can sort of give 13-16 year olds, possibly even college aged women a pass. but i see lots and lots of middle aged crazy out there sportin' this shyt. "juicy land?" AYFKM? disgusting. actually, i challenge this woman on her claims of "juicy". like hell.

Dear God. where to start? ugly. fugly! these feet cant even stay on the slick ass shoe properly. this just looks cheap and bad. having this pink nail polish is like putting lipstick on a pig. this is one of the reasons i am always fantasizing about moving to iceland. other than i think it might be a good idea to hole up with some vikings. grrrherherhaha

oh shyt, no, wait! somebody already figured out the WINTER flip flop angle. ive seen this -not these furry flip-flops, but college types wearing flip-flops in full blown icey cold winter. now there is no safe season from this visual blight.

wuss up, Frodo? you know, the mandal thing has gotten me in a lil bit of hot water with some people. i made a little dig about it on someone i really really like - and i only spoke up because i want him to succeed in his, er, quest. Look, men in sandals is ghey. it is. im sorry. but it is. at the beach only. ive said this already but it bears repeating: i only want to see a mans feet if the entire rest of him is nekkid. who's with me?

young men seem to be the greatest offenders of flip-flop wearing. i dont like these new y generation men. i dont. they are way too casual and dirty looking. im glad im old. seriously. men in my age group wear suits, or a nice shirt and some nice jeans or pants with proper footwear. then they come home have a martini or two or three -take the clothes off and get in bed. nekkid. repeat the next day. and the next. and the next. one of the reasons i like old school bluesmen is the way they dress. you aint NEVER gonna see a bluesman in flip flops. ever. or crocs.

first there was crocs. and then there was shyt to stick in the crocs. i hate these things. i hate plastic shoes. they are hideous. and when i see someone wearing crocs? i assume they are an idiot; because they look like one. ive been writing on this blog for years about the decline of western civilization; and if my warnings about islam or obama or rampant illegal immigration doesnt get your attention surely CROCS will penetrate those blinders you are wearing.

Oh No. no. no. no. no. no. now a croc cell phone case?

in fact, crockery is so hated that there is now an entire cottage industry on hating them. i love capitalism!

i see this more often than you can imagine. i believe that shoes should contain the entire foot. am i wrong? i wouldnt leave the house like this. i think this is a movie star. and i think they have a ton of dough. and i think this could be avoided.

kumbaya you dumb mofo. eat a few sticks and twigs for me.

grrherherhahahahahaha!!! i bet these cost a lot too.

this was from a webpage that asked would you rather wear a theme sweater or die. personally, id rather wear a theme sweater than die. but after death? no way. this is something i saw quite a bit as a teacher. i bet foamy will back me up on this. when i was teaching i would hear the lament about how hard it was to meet a man. and the common excuse was schools are 95% women's world. but i submit to you that its very hard to snare a man when you are dressed up like a rose bowl parade float. you want to celebrate the holidays with your students. i understand. that is what BULLETIN BOARDS are for.

here is my favorite pony faced hag. (my apologies to all horses) this woman is constantly referred to as a fashion icon. i could have done an entire page on her. Im just stunned. this woman is marketed to us as fabulous in the same way obama is. do not succumb to these propaganda campaigns. the media is NOT your friend. stay vigilant people!

im finally speechless.

and now a note from this blogger: who am i to judge? i am fucken SHE, that's who. ive written already about "judgement" and i will reprint it here again:
"......speaking of judgement...it's become a negative: "don't be judgemental" are you kidding me? i can, do and will make judgements as i see fit. and you are still, as of this posting, free to judge me back and i celebrate that......" it's still a free country. for a little while longer at least.

happy NOT MUTE monday

Labels:

54 Comments:

Blogger The Troll said...

Grrherhahahahhaha. A hilarious look at something that's truly sad.
I'm guessing speedos/thongs are on your list, but you decided to spare us. THANKS!

Happy Mute Monday!

12:14 PM  
Blogger The Java Junkie said...

Impressive "Not-Muteness"! Why is it that the least juicy among us always seem to take the opportunity to deny said juicelessness on their billboard sized buttocks (not to mention those "notties" who wear "Hottie" t-shirts!) Happy MM!

12:29 PM  
Blogger ..................... said...

hey, i've always enjoyed opinionated folks who can dish it out but also take what's given to them. you've certainly proven your mettle. now i'm curious about your footwear! i put my foot in whatever is comfortable and good for my foot. the crocs have been miraculous with my plantar fasciities and have saved plenty of shoe from paint stains .. rinse and voila .. but i admit .. they are ugly as sin. and since i wear shoes that are good for my feet and comfy, fashion can go by the wayside.
i'm off to take my youngest to a birthday party .. in my sensible sandal clarks .. no socks though .. lol ..
i'm not that euro trashy ..
ps: i don't mind men in sandals .. but please take care of how those feet look .. and that goes for women too.

12:41 PM  
Blogger frizzy scissorhands said...

interesting ... tho i really couldn't give a rat's ass the way others dress, or what they wear on their feet, if anything at all. whatever floats your boat, i say.

i like pink-painted toenails.

go obama!

what do any of these pics have to do with competition?

12:50 PM  
Blogger Anonymous Boxer said...

Bwahahha - I'm so sorry MOI is going to miss this.

I hate Crocs and can't understand why people love wearing those sweaty plastics pieces of crap. I say, be fierce and commit to clogs if you need to wear big things on your feet.

I also retired my flip flops when I was in my 20's and after this post will be going through My Mister's closet to make sure he isn't hiding any Mandels.

As for not being "mute" - it would be shame to keep you down... or non judgemental. Matter of fact,

Vive le Judgement!

1:04 PM  
Blogger cyberhostage said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

1:10 PM  
Blogger puerileuwaite said...

NOW, FINALLY I comprehend why you are "Sparring" K9!

No burkas - check

No Crocs - check

No Sarah Jessica Parker - check

No mandals - (um, okay) check

No granny tits - (a reluctant) check

No teachers in "theme" outfits - THAT'S IT!!! You've pushed me too far, lady! I can't budge on this one! There's been way too many teachers, over the years, dressing in this manner; and in the process, forever linking my own adolescent sexuality to the holidays!

1:12 PM  
Blogger she said...

troll: now you really are on the europeans with the speedos. and, youre welcome. happy MM!

javajunkie: grrrerhahahahaha! you said it far better than i! i dont know why anyone would wear a t-shirt with ANY description of self emblazoned across the front. happy MM!

foamy: i understand about both comfort and paint. my defacto studio footwear is a hiking boot. i prefer asolos. i like them because they have vibram soles which protect my skeleton -takes a lot of stress of my spine and neck. its not fashion -however it is understated and doesnt subject anyone to plastics or my feet which by the way are perfect. grrrrerhahahaha

i tend to favor footwear that i can run, kick or fight in. in other words, im always dressed and ready for the apocalypse.

frizzy: the label reads: competition for the worst shyt you could possibly wear - thats how it relates.
you must understand the tone of this post is intended as HUMOR.

now, that said, i will say i believe this: you dress like a slob? you act like a slob. as a visual person - i say slovenliness is a visual blight -its a form of rudeness as well. it says "i dont care how repulsive i am -suck it up" it says "my confort trumps decorum" its says "i am the center of the universe"

1:19 PM  
Blogger she said...

anonymous boxer: oh thank you! i know you get it. grrrerhahaha i hate moi missed this too because i KNOW she would add something ive overlooked to this list. i can tell you straight up the world will regard you in different ways depending on your attire. it is a fact.

i did not make the rules. i observe what they are and work within them as best i can to my advantage. i dont waste much time of considering if it is fair for people to form opinions based on the big juicy sign on plastered on someones ass.

mr. she has no sandals. he has some hurraches from south america but you cannot see his hairy toes. and when our cabin was broken into and robbed i took that as an opportunity to throw out a ridiculous leather cowboy hat he had. now we shall see if mr she reads this blog or not. grrrerhahahahaha

1:33 PM  
Blogger she said...

puerileuwaite: i wasnt talking about the "maxim pin-ip theme day" grrrerhaha you didnt know me at the "beginning", but i was a much despised dog at the beginning for my fighting style. thus the "sparring". eventually, though few agreed with my point of view, i was able to win them over with my good looks and rottie charm. kind of like how you do. grrrrhahahaha

now, i feel a bit of the old dog creeping into my spirit again.

so. youve all been warned. grrrrerhahahaha

1:41 PM  
Blogger /t. said...

i wasn't
really ever aware
of the fact that other people
even have feet... nevermind what they are or are not wearing on them -- now i know

and that's why i love coming to this blog!

GRRRHERHERHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

¤ ¤ ¤

/t.

ps -- sarah who?!?

2:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ps: and i agree with you about theme clothes for the holidays, clothes that have teacherly themes on them .. and worst of all the matching jewelry that goes with it ..
foam

3:52 PM  
Blogger Kate said...

That last one about blinded me...sheese! Happy not so mute monday!

5:31 PM  
Blogger ThursdayNext said...

LOL...love it. :) Happy Non-MM! I am up! xoxo

6:24 PM  
Blogger Aunty Belle said...

Pinkie Leakin'??? Thas' jes' too gross...jes' as scary as speedo leaks.

(BTW, South Carolina is visitin'--in her CROCS, puhleeze--an' painted pearlized toesnails--ain't kiddin' ya none on this...but she done read your non-mute submission heah, and howled! An', yep, agrees wif' ya.)

7:12 PM  
Blogger Leigh said...

Ahhhhhhhh! That was a Fabulous MM post! I loved it and I couldnt agreee with you more on every single issue. Why doesnt the rest of the world get it?
I am so high fiving you.

7:35 PM  
Blogger iamnot said...

As I got ready to leave on an errand today, I had one foot in my sandles and remembered you.
I went for the docksiders instead. Now, if you're going to ding me on that, you're going to have to give me some direct casual shoe advice.

8:17 PM  
Blogger Doom said...

The reason I wanted to link to your page is so wonderfully illustrated in this piece, I cannot imagine why it took me so long. Well, I can, but that is another story. I read down through most of your current pieces until I ran out of RAM. When I reboot, I will have to see what else you have.

Oh, I just meant to tell you I linked with you. So, I will tell you. I linked to your blog. There is not expectation of reciprocity. And, if it is unfavorable, I would, of course, remove the link. It is not like I even have more than one reader, so I won't be directing goblins to your place. Though, some might call me a goblin (I disagree, thinking ogre is more my nature, should I have a down side in that way, but that is just me) and I do comment. I link mostly to allow for easier access to my favored reads. I just added a number of long time hopefuls, your place being one of the most sure (though I rejected a few places because of their overt obomber love).

Oh, I would laugh at much of what you write, except it's too true. If only your writing was about a fictitious place in Far Far Away, Long Ago, or Not Yet For Centuries, I could then laugh at the splendid absurdity showcased in it's freakishness by your word and thought palette (and imagination) instead of being alarmed and disparaged by the dread notions and oddities of life described herein.

Bah, it's fun to read.

9:46 PM  
Blogger she said...

/t: GRRRRRRHERHERHAHAHAHA you can laugh because you are in great white which means you might escape the rampant too casual/slobified eyesores. way to rub it in!!!

foamy: no! i dont know what is but schoolteachers seem to be the primary users of theme sweaters. howwwwwwwwwwl!

kate: i know i know!!! grrrherhahaha happy MM!

thursdayniext: im glad you do!! and, i suspect you too prefer a slightly more dressed society. happy MM?

aunty: eeeewwwwww speedo leaks! you have a croc wearer on the property? have you sent ol' trouble out to dispatch it? grrrerhahaha! happy MM!

5:16 AM  
Blogger she said...

leigh: thanks for the high five! its a problem especially in airports. its now like a greyhound bus station -only worse -cause back in the day - there'd be suited up bluesmen on the bus! today's airport you get pink velour, flip flops and cheeto stains. grrrerhahaha happy MM!

iamnot: casual shoes for men and women are a challenge in summer. i dont have a problem with sandals for women, but if they make that flippy sound (snap snap snap with every step) because the shoe has no back strap - then i hate em. for men? its hard. im going to take a photo of mr shes hurraches theyre pretty cool. he also wears a merrell moc type thing and tennis shoes. no more dings! i love you too much! Happy MM!

doom: welcome to the yard! i happen to approve of both your facewear and your name. looks like i am not the only one dressed and ready for the apocalypse! grrrerhahahaha you certainly do not look like a flip flop wearer. thanks for the link i will be along to visit you presently.

5:29 AM  
Blogger Aunty Belle said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

5:33 AM  
Blogger Aunty Belle said...

ALERT!::

I was inspired by one of yore photos, so I'se put an addendum to my MM--check it out, full credit to the SHE.

She-Pup may I say that youse the hands-down BESTest at takin' a MM theme an' runnin' it down wif' steamers...ya git any funnier and I'se gonna be in Depends.

(FYI Croc-wearin' visitor is repentant and defends them zapatos as BARN wear only. But Uncle say that youse dead right on male shodding eddy-kit.)

6:26 AM  
Blogger The Troll said...

SHE,

It was wrong of me to single out Euro-Trash as offenders. Residents of Quebecistan are also prone to wander the aisles at Publix shirtless wearing flip-flops and Speedos whilst chain-smoking cloved ciggies. And they aren't technically from Europe.

On the bright side, the smoke partially covers up the B.O.

6:30 AM  
Blogger NYD said...

Cant trype...Can't breath,,dying My myfe is staring at me tears, tears running down my face Haaa haaa hooooohehehehehehehehehhehehehehehhehehehehhehehehehhehe



Please, please do something like this again reeeeel sooon!

6:51 AM  
Blogger iamnot said...

Dad always wore a beat up pair of dress shoes with socks and bermuda shorts.
Good enough for Dad....

7:01 AM  
Blogger Charnita's Xpressions said...

Mute or not, still great!!!!!
thanks for a good start to my Monday! But I do have a pink pair of crocs....no bling.
and they are UGLY!
I love to people watch and make fun of what people wear!!!!

7:09 AM  
Blogger Anonymous Boxer said...

OK - I went through the man's closet and I found a pair of sandels that could be "Mandels" because a little bit of toe does show. Just a little, it's mostly enclosed.

Do I throw them away and pretend I don't know what's going on when he can't find them? Or do I replace with something else.

Help?

9:13 AM  
Blogger Vixen said...

LOL A little confused on how this is regarding competition... But I do agree with you on some of those!

:)

9:31 AM  
Blogger Edith said...

ahaha Okay so when I read the first sentence I thought "okay crocs, chacos and Carrie Bradshaw will be on here" I love this blog. It made me giggle this morning. Oh honey, please come to Tacoma sometime :) We will hit Pike Place in Seattle and people watch. It's A-MA-ZING!! You'd love it :) Oh and talked to mom and visiting next weekend.

Miss You, Love You!!!

9:48 AM  
Blogger SeaRabbit said...

Wow!! This is quite a statement... and to be honest, I agree on almost everything... yes... almost... ;-))
Happy MM!

2:38 PM  
Blogger Midsummerprism said...

ha!ha!ha!ha!ha!ha!ha!ha!ha!ha!hee!hee!hee!..:>>

fabulous post!

hee! hee!

5:58 PM  
Blogger Bunny said...

LOL - you tell 'em!

My daughter saw a pink croc cell phone case at the hardware (WTF?) store and desperately wanted one. She is 3. I did not buy it for her, as she already has a Disney princess case for her Disney princess (toy) cell phone. Lord help me, I don't know where my child gets her love of all things pink.

If men are going to wear sandals, then need to get pedicures. It's only polite. Thankfully, my husband wouldn't wear sandals on a bet. He even wears his scuba shoes if we just go to the beach. He keeps his private parts private and his feet are definitely meant to be private. :-)

Happy MM!

6:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Okay, this is what I wanna know--from men only.What do the foot-fetishes out theah think about flip flops and crocs?

(Dang Pup, MOI would shure love this topic--wish she was around.)
AUNTY

8:54 PM  
Blogger Kit Brookside said...

LMAO! I stand indicted, though...for nearly all of the 2006-2007 "school year" (Sept-June) I wore Crocs, Birks, or Uggs each day because my triple-wide preggie feet would not fit into anything else! I humbly ask for clemency.

FWIW, I must admit it is more than a little disturbing when you say those three shoe names out loud and it sounds as though you are in the midst of some sort of gastrointestinal distress...

10:16 PM  
Blogger The Phosgene Kid said...

I love my crockies. I wear them around the house all the time, even have a pair with solid toes for when I am cooking. Don;t want to drop hot coals or hot grease on shoes with holes in them unless you liked polka dot burns.

What's her face must have bruises on the bottoms of her tits form playing soccer with 'em when she goes braless...

10:45 PM  
Blogger X. Dell said...

My eyesight's not that good. I don't recognize the first celebrity you have posted.

Me, I don't really care what a person's physical appearance is, or what their clothes are. If it is a free country, then they have the right to wear what they want, despite what the thought (excuse me, fashion) police might think. If Ann Coulter wants to wear her plastic leather face in public, it's her decision, and I support that.

3:46 AM  
Blogger Kit Brookside said...

She, I've left a "tribute" for you over at my blog (please don't bite me!)

;-)
Kit

9:22 AM  
Blogger moi said...

Oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh. This is why I adore you utterly. Completely. And good gawd, I wish I hadn't been too drunk as a skunk to take airport fashion photos yesterday. Because you have no idea the depths to which sloppy ass 'merican fashion can sink until you've spent nine freakin' cats' lives stuck in the Vegas airport. "By now, everyone is aware of my neurotic concern with how one dresses to travel." Sing it. Had you been there, though, you would have been slinging it.

9:22 AM  
Blogger The Phosgene Kid said...

crockie hater!!

11:43 AM  
Blogger Doom said...

You would be correct. Flip flops are for others. They are irritating even then. I did try them as a kid, but they do not make sense.

1:52 AM  
Blogger dianne said...

Hi she, that was a quite a 'dummy spit' on bad fashion choices there,well done.
I never knew what those ugly plastic shoes were called, now thanks to you I do.
You seem to dislike pink nail polish on toes, hope you have no objection to a French pedicure, 'cos thats what I have.
I watched one episode of 'Sex in the City' and once was enough for me, I find SJP very annoying, and the rest of the cast as well. Are there really women like that?

9:03 AM  
Blogger dianne said...

PS: Should I change my Venus avatar too as I just realised in that small size she looks a little horse faced as well? Haha Lol :)

9:08 AM  
Blogger Pete Bogs said...

LMAO! great post... for the record, most people - including women - have ugly feet and should not be showing them off... gnarly toes... nasty nails... dirt from walking around with them half-covered... death to Birkenstocks!

and you beat me to the "ass writing" issue, but it's just as well since I don't blog regularly anymore... having something in big letters across your butt (as opposed to the small letters of, say, a tag on your jeans) basically says "look at my ass..." therefore, if that has to be worn by anyone at all it shouldn't be jailbait!

7:17 PM  
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