12.31.2008

2008: the rotty review


...........bad asses of the year: the somali pirates........best religious performance: rev. jeremiah wright "americas chickens are coming home..to ROOST!" sermon......person i most want to take a baseball bat to: Lori Drew, the 49 year old mom who posed on my space as 17 year old "josh", who first flirted with, then tormented 13 year old megan meier for weeks even saying "the world would be better without her in it" until megan committed suicide by hanging..........pundit of the year: dennis miller......worst live performance: kanye west on SNL......second worst live performance: kanye west on GMA..........election fraud that mysteriously didnt bother liberals at all: ACORN.......best picture: "the preview" from PNW pictures........

sign of the year: beer as cold as your girlfriend's heart (grrrrrrherhahahahaha)

art story of the year: damien hirst bypasses the dealers and goes straight to sothebys netting 95 million.......most repulsive male: al franken...........most pitiful martyr wife: mrs. elliot spitzer..........dumbest blonde: kim zoliak from "the real housewives of atlanta"...............overused vapid nebulous meaningless word of the year: "change"............ thief of the year: frankin raines...........super chumps of the year: chris matthews and keith olberman.............best antedote to the propaganda channel for hollywood, aka "entertainment tonight": TMZ..........


most devastating realization: our once sovereign nation is now a debtor's prison run by global bankers.........most annoying voice: bonny fwank...............best long overdue justice: OJ simpson goes to jail...........idiot of the year: maxine waters............biggest putz of the year: scott mclellan.........


person most likely to extend the bush doctrine into 2009: barack obama..........worst fashion in the news: the chicks of the fundy mormon ranch.......worst liar: casey anthony: the chick who killed her kid in orlando......winner of the "how does he sleep at night" award: bernard madoff.......dog of the year: trout.............hen of the year: (tie) mean dovey cooledge and red.............


best show i saw this year: frida kahlo at the san francisco museum of art..........phrase of the year (condensed): bitter xenophobes clinging to guns and bibles.......completely superfluous entity of the year: the US media.............unpleasant side effect as a result of obama's election: susan sarandon and tim robbins are staying in the USA.............scariest movie: the world according to monsanto (watch it on you tube)..............heartbreaking story under reported: the mass suicide of indian cotton farmers who were fucked over by monsanto.............

best crochet of the year: the TV dinner

hypocrisy example of the year: john edwards , back-door man..................song i hope i never hear again: mercy by duffy.................quit while youre ahead award: bret farve..................best lesson from the NFL that should be applied to corporate america: bad season = "you're fired!".................miracle of 2008: suddenly, all those diebold voting machines are no longer "rigged"!......................most demoralizing evil that must be endured: commercial air travel...........spectacle of the year: bejing olympics opening...........poster boy for chicago politics: blago.................


slogan of the year: "buy my idea and i won't kill you" ..........show that should be cancelled: the view...................not too bright award: football player plaxico takes a bullet to his thigh when the glock in his sweatpants (!) drops and fires..................hag of the year: madonna. retire. seriously. stop...................ooops moment of the year: dropping critical tools while working on the space station.............event that has changed my entire outlook for good: the bailout

refuge of the year: the forest................supercreep of the year: richard fuld, ceo of lehman bros...............best controversial tv ad: the one where Mr T fires from the back of a pick-up truck, a tommy gun loaded with snickers candy bars at the ass of a ghey race-walker.................most irritating tv ad: all car ads that use old rock songs and the zyrtec "time in a bottle" ad graaaaaah!...........................worst noise in 2008 and every year: leaf-blowers.............best website run by democrat: "hyper-educated uppity woman"..............most ubiquitous video game: guitar hero...................animal of the year: squirrel............biggest enemy to our freedoms as individuals: corruption.............scam of the year: carbon credits to offset global warming...............best entertainment: podcasts............

best vintage poster that sums up 2008: see above.............dumb teenager story of the year: girlfight in tampa is videotaped and put up on you tube.........best divorce: the one over the husband committing virtual adultery on "second life"...............worst guru of the year: deepak chopra.............

final comment on 2008: good riddance!


happy new year

41 Comments:

Blogger Big Shamu said...

What was the best crochet last year?


HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Where's the Drop Party and are the Housewives of Atlanta on the Guest List????





NOOOOOOTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!

7:54 PM  
Blogger sparringK9 said...

it was a hard call. there was the orangey life-sized crochet mustache and beard to consider.

happy new year! woo hoo. big dog is already OUT. grrherhahaha

8:14 PM  
Blogger J Cosmo Newbery said...

Great post, great fun to read. Just the right balance of realism, cynicism and, as best as I can establish, gluten free. Thank you.

8:22 PM  
Blogger Helene said...

lolololol great list! so much good and bad in 2008... as in all years I suppose... I just hope, and pray , that 2009 will bring more peace! Thats my biggest hope for 2009... PEACE, for all and in any way, shape and form!

Happy New Year!

10:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ha ha
hah haha ha
haha ha ah ha haha

best 'best of' of the year:
k9's always spot-on y/e roundup :)

wishing K9 & menagerie a fab 09 (again :)

¤ ¤ ¤

/t.

10:08 PM  
Blogger The Phosgene Kid said...

And rockinest dude in an M-47A mask... Happy New Years She, and keep a stiff upper lip, remember for every Kennedy there's two Oswalds...

10:45 PM  
Blogger dianne said...

Well K9 dear that review certainly sounds like a good start, I really enjoyed it.
I dont know of all these people you mentioned but I can tell you are certainly well informed and dedicated to your ideals.
Did you perhaps forget Sarah Jessica Parker? I would put her in the same lot with Susan Sarandon and maybe Angelina Jolie.
Squirrels are tops, I love the Mr T ad and of course you would vote for your beautiful Trout and the hens. ♥
I hope 2009 is a much better year in many ways,for us all.
Happy New Year again!!!!!!

3:11 AM  
Blogger sparringK9 said...

j cosmo: thank you! and a merry down under new year to you. looking forward to more notes on a serviette in 09! gluten free and spiked with vitamin R!

helene: good and bad....i couldnt think of a hero of the year im still trying.....peace would be great the problem is the players! happy new year to you.

/t: thank you. i want to add to the menagerie but big dog says no more animals! im getting another dog though - i just bring 'em home and hope he forgives me. new chicks this spring too! id like a "barred rock" and a "golden campine". i wouldnt mind having a little goat either. happy happy new year to the worlds greatest artist.

PhoKid: yes!! youre the only one appropriately dressed for the NWO takeover. happy new year to you!

diane: all you need to know about those people is that my assessment of them is correct! you are right - my little pony, i mean, sarah jessica parker is a hag. but not for 2008 -maybe the decade. happy new year - i wish you every happiness, interior calm and a worthy companion to cherish you.

5:42 AM  
Blogger fishy said...

Good range of issues K9. My fear is the horrors of 2008 were just the warm up for 2009. Hope I am wrong!
Most disturbing of your images? Young girls offering an obscene salute with a face full of venom.
Happy new year, get the goat so you can have milk and cheese to go with all those veggies you will be growing!

6:48 AM  
Blogger sparringK9 said...

fishy: you mean the little angels who will be paying into your ponzi social security scam and taking care of you in the nursing home? grrrrrrherhahahahaha! oh the innocent chillen' of ameriKa. happy new year. *not likely*

7:04 AM  
Blogger sparringK9 said...

by the way fishy, that face looks more like rebellion than venom to me. jus sayin........

7:08 AM  
Blogger Enemy of the Republic said...

Excellent post. I don't know all the names and events you refer to, but to the ones you do, here is my endorsement:

1. Agreed on Wright, but I would also give an honorable mention to Joel Osteen's wife.

2. Agreed on Drew--friggin sicko.

3. I never liked Dennis Miller, even when he pretended to be a comedian, so I haven't followed his pundit career.

4. Didn't see Kanye on either one--my students love Kanye and one even did a project on him. As Kingsley said to Fudge in Harry Potter 5: Minister, you make not like him, but you've got to admit--Dumbledore's got style." I don't think Kanye has style but he definitely has presence.

5. Correct on ACORN. I remember them from Chicago--I wouldn't join them. They had a bad rep even then.

6. Most repulsive male: I would go with Blago.

7. I didn't pay enough attention to Spitzer to notice. I thought Hillary won that award after we all "found out" that Bill was lying after all.

8. Meaningless word--change--honorable mention: peace. Actually that one bothers me much more.

9. Can't stand Matthews, only have seen Olberman once, but I think Joe the Plumber is a chump, but not the chump of the year. I have to give that one to Terrell Owens. As long as he stays in pro football, he is the clear victor.

10. Devestating realization: I will see you and raise that: part of me already knew that but the d.r. was when they didn't bother to hide it to the American people.

11. Annoying voice: yeah, he's bad, but I don't ever want to hear Paulson again. In fact, he might face danger if he shows up on my doorstep.

12. I would redefine the O.J. award to karma bites you in the butt--it really does!

13. Bush Doctrine: Well, Obama is the most likely candidate.

14. Putz of the year: Michael Phelps

15. Dog of the year: You and Pug-tie

16. Unpleasant side effect of Obama's election: Illinois

17. Edwards on hypocrisy--hands down. Asshole.

18. Agreed on air travel--makes me want to walk everywhere.

19. Chicago Politics postor child: Roland Burris. What self-respecting person would want to be appointed by Blago?

20. Agreed on Madonna and I used to like her.

21. Supercreep of the year: Just one? Who's worse, those who gave out parachutes with our money or those who accepted them? Karma will bite nicely around those behinds.

22. Song I don't want to hear again: I'm getting tired of Brad Paisley and again I am still a fan, but I don't want to hear him on the radio anymore.

23: Most annoying ad: the Chevy Chase one for Direct TV. I began leaving the room during the World Series when it was on.

24. Biggest enemy to our freedom: Government

25. Event that changed my outlook: the bailout, tied with asking all of my elected officials to oppose it and they did the opposite. The bailout showed that the government does not listen to the people who put them where they are. I cannot get over that.

I should stop as the bailout never fails to get me on my soapbox.

7:59 AM  
Blogger Gnomeself Be True said...

Whew...I didn't make the list.
I was worried.

Happy happy

8:20 AM  
Blogger Jenny said...

bwahaha to Gnome. I have nothing to add - your list is complete. As usual, your images are fabulous and that crochet TV dinner is givng me ideas.

It was a strange year and it makes me feel anxious for what 2009 will bring. The only "good" thing about a year with so much good and bad, is that I hope it has bitch-slapped some people into the reality that we need to be more involved in our lives; locally and globally.

Happy Happy New Year K9. i'm off to buy guns and gold. :-)

9:41 AM  
Blogger moi said...

worst fashion in the news: the chicks of the fundy mormon ranch

Bwahahahahaha!

Word, girl, on that and everything else, is all's I gots ta say.

Except:

1. Hero of the Year: Sorry, I know I bang this drum every 2.5 seconds, but, really: RON PAUL!!!

2. Slogan of the Year: Buy Ammo Now.

9:48 AM  
Blogger sparringK9 said...

enemy: it cannot be over-stated what the bailout has done to me. now EVERYTHING is suspect. i agree with you that the blatant disregard of the wishes of the american people is the MOAWC (mother of all wake up calls) and has resulted in a major priority shift in my life. agreed government=corruption. as far as i am concerned, my conspiracy friends have been vindicated. i wanted to find a category for michael phelps too....butterface of the year? overexposed athlete of the year? something. happy new year friend, i will be your soul sister of "never getting over it". grrrrherhahahahaha

gnome: you could be on my list: favorite blog that was discontinued in 2008. happy new year. did you get a kiss? and i couldnt even send yvonne by. ;-(

boxer! are you at work? i am. deadline january 5. what kind of sadists do that to their hired arms? grrerhahahahaha im glad you like the images. youd be amazed at the crocheted things ive found. i agree 100% with you. a goal for 09 is to do very little global commerce and as much local as possible. happy new year to you dear friend.

9:52 AM  
Blogger sparringK9 said...

moi: welcome to the terror dome superstar!grrherhahaha i agree ron paul was the voice of reason in a dark cesspool of contenders. happy new year to the best dressed bad ass on the internets! xo

9:57 AM  
Blogger Ruela said...

Happy New Year She!!!

10:37 AM  
Blogger h said...

Brilliant. Golden post! Loved it.

I happen to like Bernie Madoff and Blago and appreciate their service, though. Not sure if Dennis Miller qualifies as a pundit. Charles Krauthammer is EXCELLENT and sometimes funny.

I am safely back from my stint as Zoo caretaker.

1) Henry the Guard Donkey destroyed the drivers-side mirror of my truck.

2)I have a deep puncture wound from the 3 legged bobcat.

3) Various other critters clawed me including on the cornea.

11:21 AM  
Blogger moi said...

Back at cha. Oh, and I forgot, but that last photo? That happen to be you or anyone you know? 'Cause I SO needs me that image on a tee shirt. Or at the very least, keep that defiant lil' bugger in mind as I lock and load for 2009.

Yippee kai yay . . .

11:25 AM  
Blogger sparringK9 said...

ruela: happy new year to the greatest artist in portugal. hoo hawwwww!

troll: no. i agree; madoff was my patron saint of shadenfraude but still - how does he LIVE? and while were on that topic, who rolls with the likes of frankin raines? who plays golf or dines with him? is he the pariah of his country club? we need to bring back "shame" and "shun". SORRY to hear of your animal troubles. i was afraid something(s) like this would happen. happy new year!!!!

moi: no - its not me - but it could be. grrrherhahahaha. i love her too. somebody is going to marry that girl. grrrrrrrrherhahahahahahahahahahaaaaa!!!!

12:03 PM  
Blogger Enemy of the Republic said...

By the way, I stole your idea (but gave you full credit) for my blog. I just made up a bunch of categories. I have to admit that Blago is growing on me--a bit like the film Goodfellas.

I still write my congress idiot and remind him that I am a registered voter, but I have decided that all politicians live in the same bubble the Wall Street pigs live in--entitlement and no one can touch me hubris. The social contract has been broken beyond repair.

12:34 PM  
Blogger Aunty Belle said...

Dawg, DAWG! What is ya thinkin'?? Ya give this one fer free? Dang girl, somebody'd a paid fer this one--whar' the big bloggers go.


I reckon this was a wee diversion while deadline screams toward ya'? An Aunty not wantin' to bother ya so I ain't been here...

but, I gotta say,

EOR is right. Worst word ain't Change but Peace. yeah, right. This is how it be:

Any candidate that's into piece, while yakkin' peace, is the one the wannabes love to hang wif'... ever notice how a little libido hides a multitude of bigger issues? Heh.

LOL Pho-Kid!

12:37 PM  
Blogger darkfoam said...

haha .. lol ..
this was highly amusing ..
and guess what?
i think 09 will suck just like the rest of the decade did ..

12:40 PM  
Blogger Enemy of the Republic said...

Agreed, Auntie. Whenever I hear that PEACE noise, I think of that SNL routine with Steve Martin wishing for all the children to be happy; what the heck is peace anyway?

12:42 PM  
Blogger sparringK9 said...

enemy: yeah i know what you mean about Blago. its the people he vexxes that delights me. he does seem to have iron will. commented on your wrap up post. a fun one!

aunty: well, i do this while i wait for sections to dry. im about to call fedex and see if i can ship on saturday for monday delivery to Austin. please God. let it be so.
peace, aunty, peace. grrrrrrherhahahahaha

foamy: thanks for that spark of optimism. grrherhahaha just kiddin how was the teen party. did you get video?

1:01 PM  
Blogger Aunty Belle said...

Well, Pup, mebbe Austin is a fun placee...ya could deliver it in person--does Jet Blue or Air Tran fly cheaper than Fed Ex on a Saturday?

2:00 PM  
Blogger Aunty Belle said...

(Akshully, the li'l darlin' does resemble ya...)

3:22 PM  
Blogger sparringK9 said...

aunty: grrrrrrherhahahahaha! yes, she does. my features, of course, are far more refined grherha as for traveling to austin - not a bad idea. on that approach i have all the way til sunday night to complete the project. but no i am shipping on saturday cause there is a fedex out on sat night. one good thing about living in a big city. yay!!

3:58 PM  
Blogger BBC said...

You think 2008 was bad, just wait until you get to the end of 2009.

6:05 PM  
Blogger BBC said...

i live in the southeast. im wondering why jollyroger would leave.

For one thing, maybe attacks on the bible belt. But if you avoid any towns bigger than 3000 and have a place in the country you might get by okay.

Well, that and being okay with having very little other than a roof over your head and some food in your gut.

6:43 PM  
Blogger Aunty Belle said...

WOW K9, Sweet Pup--thas' EXCELLENT work ya done on the Back Porch--youse a research hound now--gerhahahahaha!

5:02 AM  
Blogger sparringK9 said...

bbc: i think youre right. the roof and food stocks, i got.

aunty: you'd be surprised at what ive dug up this past year. or no, you wouldnt be surprised at all. sadly

7:43 AM  
Blogger NYD said...

I'm on a brand new computer. (went on a shopping spre to help the economy)and I lost the comment I ws going to contribute.

Therefore I will leave you with this simple message.

Funny, Funny Funny. {Shakes head} and Sob.

2008 was good cuz I got to know you. 2009 will be even better for the same reason

6:57 AM  
Blogger h said...

You and your sane readers are cordially invited to a new Fri-Sat-Sun Troll Meme.

4:33 PM  
Blogger Edith said...

So why and when exactly are you coming the the Great Northwest? I hope you had a wonderful new years!

Blessings to you and your little family :)

I've been away from the blogging world as life kicked in. Now I'm back in full force :)

7:27 PM  
Blogger Edith said...

Sunday is fine. I'll make sure I"m not working at church so I'm free. Yeay I'm so excited!

Yeah...we'll see about the reunion. I really want to got, but if she gets overly excited and doesn't think cost we'll see.

I love that Uncle got you an iron. My friend's boyfriend got her dog clippers and Fix-A-Flat if it makes you feel better :) For my birthday I got a bathrobe ...and that was it. He's learning.

11:18 PM  
Blogger the walking man said...

Most "priceless" of the year...that final photograph and comment.

Jason Evans periodically opens up his blog for writers to compete in flash fiction writing contests. Any one can enter and anyone can win. Just click the "here" on my front page and it will take you to his blog.Good luck K9

2:41 AM  
Blogger Native Minnow said...

It's crazy to look back and see just how much crap went down last year. I should send my ex-wife to your site. She loves Deepak Chopra (or however you spell it). And I can't believe I missed the Mr T commercial. I'm going to have to go find that on YouTube right this second.

Happy New Year!

12:27 PM  
Blogger Lady Dame said...

my dear, i could not agree more.... although some names i am not aware of, so i have food for thought and google matter now from this post.

i agree with your take on obama, i was hornswaggled when he did put hillary in as sec of state, so in that way he is like bushy. i hope as a young father he will do good things, but i am not certain he is as he purports.
ACORN, yeah, and also

"Lori Drew, the 49 year old mom who posed on my space as 17 year old "josh", who first flirted with, then tormented 13 year old megan meier for weeks even saying "the world would be better without her in it" until megan committed suicide by hanging...."

Was not sure many folks picked up on that, what the F?

good riddance and goodnight, thanks for this fantabulous post!

7:57 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

I was NOT sad to see 2009 go! The Lori Drew lady. I recall that story and was REALLY angry over it. How could she look at herself or sleep at night! What a stupid thing to do.

And the Casey Anthony chick has got to come clean here. I mean she just fabricated everything .

I love the beer sign and Rev.Wright is an idiot whose 15 minutes are up. But he did milk them quite well.

1:30 PM  

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