The History of K9 Part 3: The Poetry Duel

As K9 developed his rotty persona he ranged far and wide on the internets leaving his fragrant steaming hot browns in unsuspecting blogger's com boxes. sometimes starting trouble, sometimes making friends. finally, and fatefully, he landed one evening on the blog known as Maydens Voyage in the middle of a duel between two poets; the flowery victorian kind. their old school vocabulary and gestures of chivalry cried out for a dark horse fly in the ointment type. so in typical K9 fashion, the dog inserted himself, uninvited, into the duel.

K9 threw a challenge down to the other poets with this rappery:

(this is what we do to poets 'round here)

why i make this post? let me be real clear:
i found myself a MAYDEN
and a nordic one at that
but i found her fire fadin'
so im preppin for combat

with a duo in a duel
yeah some men of poetry
so I'm throwin' down a jewel
of niner rappery

yeah im the dark horse in this race
and there aint no greater cause
to protect my mayden fair of face
from their literary paws

if ya'll be mackin' on my mayden
i'll be sneaking her away
like the bar-b-que you grilled
on independence day

she gonna choose a suitor
on their words alone
so im singing out my rap
with a bark of baritone

i don't need no learning
or thesaurus thickened book
i'll sway her with my yearnin'
and my nanny-killin' look

i'm turning maydens head
with my juicy rap ebonics
so what if you well read?
you jus suckin' on ya phonics!

to the poets i say:

i ruled ya, i drooled ya, flipped ya over and i skooled ya
i left a steamin brown, flipped you back and put it down
i floated and i stinged, left you peak-ked in da ring
i was bad; i was pretty
ya'll left town
feeling shitty

cause the dog sneaked in
before this dress rehersal
now its too late for the wedding
'cause i "pinged her universal"*


* pinged her universal refers to a comment i made about successful art

well, percival, who's blog no longer exists, (but i think is a guy named Paul) wrote this reply:

O vile Pretender!

Thou art - here me well good man, and tremble - thou art, verily, the George W. Bush of "dogs!"

Affecting a clumsy incoherence, it is clear from thine metrical skills that thou art well acquainted with Keats, Yeats, Teats, Tipsy, and the rest...

An English major I well suspect, who has been putting on the dog of a down-home act.

As the sun goes down on Monday, the sun also sets for thee. Ask not for whom the bell tolls. And seek not to break the rules and ask the Mayden's indulgence by saying, "the dog ate my homework."

In other words, Sir, I publically remind you that the Lady's rules stipulate including something about that darned "Lee Kennedy" dude, which I really found the hardest part of the whole thing...

Ping her universal? Think not even to arrive at the outermost vestibule of her galaxy.

O, unsavory Chameleon!

Cherished praise from this strong competitor Percy. Also in the mix: one J. Cosmo Newberry who i believe can still be seen lurking about at ladies' blogs such as Here is My Heart. My friendship with Xdell developed at this time and he set the odds for the dog at 5:1. in many ways he refereed the games. Mayden made the rules: the winning poem had to have two components: it had to address the concept of "fidelity" and it also had to include a mention of a man in australia known as "Lee Kennedy". The prize was that mayden would turn her full blog attention to the winner of the poetry duel for 30 days.

The dog had many helpers and supporters -im sure the others did too (NOT!). There was a lot of back and forth taunting between the poets and it was a very lively time on the blogs. I cannot tell the whole story as critical parts are missing. But in Maydens and K9's archives there stands (like a monument grrrherhahaha) a record of the most entertaining and interactive blogging season this dog has ever had. and the comments were priceless. Many friendships were forged in this time and the dog's earlier days as a troublemaker seemed to be forgiven.

finally the deadline arrived and K9 submitted this entry:
** the morse code and chemistry is the part that addresses the required component of the blogger known as Lee**

was it
nutmeg psychosis
morse code neurosis:

-.- .---- -.- .---- -.- .----

(dash dot dash, dot dash dash dash.
dash dot dash, dot dash dash dash.
dash dot dash, dot dash dash dash.)

sweet equation

β-D-fructo-furanosyl 4-chloro-4-deoxy-


the aussie man lee
and fidelity
the detective and the post

the niner of K
the den of may
the voyage and a boast

gloves thrown down
photos and browns
a discussion of what is true.

silly bros
erudite foes
its what dogs were built to do

-.- .---- -.- .---- -.- .----

(dash dot dash, dot dash dash dash.
dash dot dash, dot dash dash dash.
dash dot dash, dot dash dash dash.)


well i was called fidelis from my very first day
i dogpaddled here to bark it out and have my say
id never let a digger do a dig on my lady
wouldnt let 'em dis her or imply that she were shady
id protect her virtue with my K9 high karate
and channel-surf her chakras like a bodisatva rottie

a spectral force unseen just in case shes ever scared
a poem for her pleasure with my inner dog laid bared
but when she falls alseep tonight the canine ranges on
to form a fragrant steamer for another blogger's lawn.
though i can't stay a month in her digital abode
anytime she needs me she can telegraph my code

-.- .---- -.- .---- -.- .----

(dash dot dash, dot dash dash dash.
dash dot dash, dot dash dash dash.
dash dot dash, dot dash dash dash.)

-.- .---- -.- .---- -.- .----

(dash dot dash, dot dash dash dash.
dash dot dash, dot dash dash dash.
dash dot dash, dot dash dash dash.)

i'm fadin'
but true to you i'll be

m' lady's voice
the niner's choice
of sound fidelity

sound fidelity....
sound fidelity...
sound fidelity................


my most cherished comment came from the bird which hinted at my very unfair advantage: that of being a "lady" masquerading as a rottweiler. grrrrrherhahahaha

bird's comment:

..."i felt that percy's flow (given his genre) was pretty good - in fact, ALMOST, but not quite, rivaling yours (and certainly superior to cosmo's - whose composition i found rather boring.)

but you in, addition to the superior flow, have produced a unique composition - it provides the unexpected: morse code, equation,

and, here, i'm trying to recall verbatim how i phrased it over at percy's place, in your composition, you express some values that are most endearing to the female heart - though you are a rogue of sorts, you offer both protection and freedom - no woman can pass up that combination - it's perfect!"

of course, the dog won the day. However, instead of having Mayden's 30 days of attention, K9 chose to do a series of posts with her as a muse - channelling the art of other artists; for example

/bark bark bark

/bark bark bark
our lady of perpetual bloggers

In this time, a beautiful friendship between K9 and Mayden was born. and it would be put to the test in the final chapter: The Islamic War: a massive blog dogfight.

Labels: , , , ,


Anonymous Anonymous said...

halcyon days
in a golden age
of course the best man won

× × ×


7:30 PM  
Blogger kmwthay said...

Oh how I wish I were around back in the day to experience these dogfights and all their glory. Thanks for revealing your history mystery for those of us who never knew...

8:20 PM  
Blogger the walking man said...

Dog as poet better than pretentious poetry dogs.

1:16 AM  
Blogger foam said...

yup .. remember those days very well ....
grrrrrrrherhahaha ....
your rappery did 'ping'...
and guess who i was cheering for?

3:28 AM  
Blogger Aunty Belle said...

reverie of days gone by....thanks fer the memories, K9.

(I done fergot that Bird Beauty was one of the first to sense the feminine lurkin' under yore fur. Heh)

4:53 AM  
Blogger dianne said...

Great post K9, great poetry, rappery and I love the pictures...thanks for sharing that with me a 'newbie', wish I had been around in those days, sounds like you all had a lot of fun.
That rottie persona must be the protector of many maydens. :)

Thanks for the mention, yes that lovely gentleman J Cosmo still visits my blog. ♡

5:32 AM  
Blogger K9 said...

/t: i still enjoy that marvelous magnet of our lady of perpetual bloggin'. you still have yours??? i met you at percys too -for that he has my eternal gratitude!

kmwthay: i am glad you liked it. i am sure it is quite tedious for anyone who isnt into an all about wonderful me post. grrrrrrrrherhahahahahahhaa. but it was a wonderful lively time. im all tamed down now. i need to redevelop a troublemaker character. grrrrrrrr!

walking man: i need to get back to the poetry. i couldnt bang them out as often and as well as you, but i do think meeting you has inspired me to give it a go again! dogs is better, no lie.

foamy: well i hope so! mayden would never tell me who did and did not bet against the mighty niner! grrhahahaha. like with /t, finding you in the deal was a prize all its own.

aunty: well you are being kind. i will wrap this series up and on to some digs that need to be dug. this post is ripe for some ardliar interference wouldnt you say? possibly the natives have captured him for ransom. question is: who will pay it? grrrrrrrrrrhahahahahahaha

dianne: as the K9 i have often found myself by the side of a lady in distress. its what i would want...a good dog with a face that says "watch out!" J cosmo is a cool guy and a good poet and i should go over and say hello to him.

6:01 AM  
Blogger TROLL Y2K said...

It's certainly a lot better than any actual "rap".

7:10 AM  
Blogger President Barack Obama said...

Yes, halcyon days indeed Ms K9, or do you mind if I call you Missy?

Few of our country folk will appreciate the profound influence that your blog had on my thinking at a critical time in my long journey.

A good compromise, a good piece of legislation, is like a good blog; or a good rap. Everybody can recognize it. They say, 'Huh. It works. It makes sense.'

Focusing your life solely on making a buck shows a certain poverty of ambition. It asks too little of yourself. Because it's only when you hitch your wagon to something larger than yourself that you realize your true potential. And, when you hitched your wagon to Sparring K9, we all saw yours.

Potential that is.

If you're walking down the right path and you're willing to keep walking, eventually you'll make progress. And progress you have. You're still to do the walking bit, but once you ditch the city for the woods, that will follow.

Please keep up all your fine work.

God bless you.
Allah, oops God, bless me, and God Bless America.


PS Change has come.

7:26 AM  
Blogger Aunty Belle said...


The appearance on this blog of The One taint's mah day, dawg!

As to the secondary appearance of another Islamaphile, I reckon an ARDent response will splotch the pages when ya do the last installment.

7:43 AM  
Blogger K9 said...

troll: i like some raps and enjoy performing them for the amusement of the few friends i have left after performing them. grrrrrhahahaha.

barak! how exciting. you are the master of talking and talking and leaving us pink cheeked shiny with hope and a forward vision for change. im am inspired to be better! next time, i'll be a horse, or something more co-operative than a dog. God bless YOU mr. president.

aunty: i felt a chill go up my leg! grrrrrhahahahhaaa

7:48 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


i do.
have two.
they were fun.

× × ×

president obama,

congratulations on winning bush-america,
you poor SOB



8:31 AM  
Blogger Boxer said...

I'm enjoying reading this as much I enjoyed hearing about it.... because you've added quotes/pictures/etc. The extra details are making it a complete picture.

And Mayden? I love how a friendship was forged in the dog yard.

Part 3! Part 3! **finds red vines and sits down**

11:51 AM  
Blogger moi said...

Wish I'da been there. But, now I'm here, which is just as good. (Wherever I go, there I am.)

4:15 PM  
Blogger boneman said...

Well, danged if this isn't where I started falling into those steamy piles from you.
Course, with five (at the time) laying them about, here, I already had a mess on my shoe...

But fun WAS fun, and the duel quite a lively bit of getting us off rabble rousing 'bout politics!
Yeah, I'de say the fun in stuff was way more fun than people trying to create their cliques.

(As for your dispatching of Percival, I'de say you are a bit harsh on that.
Boy just wears a completely different kind of hat.)

And HOLY COW! J Cosmo turns out to be the champion several times over.
Sitting in a fine poetry field like fine, sweet clover.

5:00 PM  
Blogger kmwthay said...


President Obama wins the Heisman Trophy after watching a college football game.

9:04 PM  
Blogger Gnomeself Be True said...

This is about the time I "discovered" you. I stayed quiet though and was too chicken to contest for Mayden's hand.
I was obviously outclassed and a man's got to know his limitations.

11:48 AM  
Blogger Karl said...

Good afternoon K9,

How interesting, more of the story revealed.

Was .---- or 1 suppose to be ----. or 9 in Morse code?

12:16 PM  
Blogger dr.alistair said...

B.O.? the chocolate jesus? and now the hiesman trophy winner....

lordy lord.

and we are all filled with hope.

just `cause he spoke.

and he has a blog too. hip kinda hipster. hmmm. boxers or briefs?

the ladies want to know.

i hope he doesn`t play an instrument, him and bill will start a band.

2:20 PM  
Anonymous pam said...

My brain is reeling with the cleverness! And how necessary it is to have a rotty persona to be the bark AND bite. Thanks for sharing these tidbits of blog past. I feel like I need to go reading some art history or sumthin' and get my brain cells fired up!

7:45 AM  
Blogger Mayden' s Voyage said...

I missed the fun of this! I am sorry! Both kids have had the flu this week- blah!
I reposted the final event of the duel over at MV- hope you get a chance to see it. Hugs friend!

9:08 AM  
Blogger X. Dell said...

Damn, dog. Didn't know you were a Muslim.

12:01 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home