1.11.2011

And the Winner is........


This weeks theme was on the word "crescent" which brought many fine entries examining both personal and universal meanings. Master Basho's ghost would be most pleased with the effort and thought that went into each haiku. The mighty K9 also thanks you for participating here in the dog pen while Troll is out in the wilds of Florida hunting.

Our Judge, Alicia Griswold, teaches creative writing at the Art Institute in Atlanta. You can read one of her poems on her blog "sending pages out to dry". Thank you, Alicia!

**Alicia's comments:

Fun read!
I, too, love the moon.


The winner is the 16-syllable haiku by Boxer:


Waning or waxing
hanging low in the sky
my lantern tonight.

            
Before anyone objects to this, let me say, the panicky revision with added “night” merely repeats “night” (see “tonight” in third line) to no advantage. It may follow the rule but makes for an awkward scan and detracts from the best line, which I love: “my lantern tonight.”  A missing syllable does less harm than a clumsy word.
Might you consider including either the word “moon” at the start of line 2 or “so” after “hanging” to get that needed syllable? I liked the simplicity of language and the image of man humping home. Lantern, because it’s familiar and yet anachronistic, feels timeless to me.

Honorable mention (can I do this?): MB’s Ghost #2

 “Both grain Towers fell.
Those that lay sleeping. Throats cut.
Envied by captured.”

Would also love to see Peurile Waites’ comment turned to haiku…

“I am wondering why you walked
back from the mountain.
Was it more dramatic that way?”

**************************

Congratulations, Boxer! Display the badge-of-great-Honor on your blog. You have the awesome responsibility of selecting next week's haiku topic. You are also the winner of a virtual $800 gift certificate to Joe Bob's Gun and Ammo shack, and 3 practice sessions at Nephew's outdoor firing range. Enjoy and well done!



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21 Comments:

Blogger foam said...

congratulations to boxer! and just recently she was on my blog implying she was not a haiku talent..
and then i read her haiku over here and thought... she's not? she knows not what she is talking about.

5:02 AM  
Anonymous Master Basho's Ghost said...

Congratulations to Boxer. I agree with the young neophyte poet's suggestion of adding "so" after "hanging".

In fact, after reading it that way aloud, "so" makes a good haiku better. It's not just an addition to conform to "rules".

P.S. Does "honorable mention" get me steak knives or something?

5:32 AM  
Blogger K9 said...

foamer: i know! I was delighted when i saw Alicia's choice. Maybe now we can get her in every Haiku Monday. Id like to see you play each week too! Youre not in school today! Yipeeeeee - or maybe not. has cabin fever set in? I bet i dont get out of here before the weekend. theres no way. big freeze coming tonight. in the teens here on top of snow.

MBG: okay. I'll throw in some Ginzus. grrrhahahahaha

5:44 AM  
Blogger moi said...

Yay! Congrats to Miss I-Can't-Haiku-Boxer! A lovely, simple, and evocative work. She's gonna blow half that ammo just keeping nephew at bay, though. Look out, here come a purdy city girl!

Big thank you to Alicia for taking time out of her day to read all these and choose a winner.

6:43 AM  
Anonymous Alicia said...

I do have cabin fever! And a crap load of freelance work to do before school ever starts.

Why does Master B think I'm young and neophyte?

6:44 AM  
Blogger K9 said...

moi: grrrrherhahahaha. with a purdy mouth. uh oh! yes - I-cant-haiku excuse will never fly again.

alicia: he thinks you are a young neophyte cause he is a few centuries old and and an undisputed master of Haiku

6:52 AM  
Blogger fishy said...

Congratulations to Boxer!!!!!!!!

To judge Alicia,
it is high praise to have the ghost give you a nod of approval. On more than one occasion he too has rejected the 5-7-5 rule in favor of clarity or rhythm.

7:33 AM  
Blogger puerileuwaite said...

I appreciate the gesture, but I never wanted to see another haiku after Paris. I had the perfect one ready at the train station as I waited for her, but she never showed. I had to learn romance and wordsmithery the hard way. For this sadder but wiser Pug, the mechanics of perfect haiku structure don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world.

7:49 AM  
Blogger xl said...

Congrats Boxer. But you owe us a syllable!

9:41 AM  
Blogger Boxer said...

Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

For reals?????????

and the judge was a Proffessional? (sorry Basho and Troll.)

Weeeeeeee. Thank you! I was driving home on Friday night and saw the moon and was thinking it was a nice thing to follow.

So, I'm grabbing my prizes before you all realize you made a mistake. And especially thanks for the virtual ammo. Ka-Bam!

xoxoxoxox.

10:11 AM  
Blogger Boxer said...

I'd like to buy a vowel please, Pat.

Oh. Wrong game, I'm sorry.

10:12 AM  
Blogger Boxer said...

er, about Nephew........

10:14 AM  
Blogger Buzz Kill said...

Boxer won? What the,,,, Well, even a broken clock is right twice a day. Bwahahaha Congrats Boxer.

10:20 AM  
Blogger Aunty Belle said...

HoooooRAY! for our Boxer-babe! Oh ,this is rich--"I cain't write " is the winner---luvin' this.

Uh, B-Babe, now ya has NO EXCUSE but to play. Besides, with htese amazin' virtual prizes, how can ya resist?

Many kind thanks to Alicia too. What a great sport ya' is to climb into this nest of bloggers--please doan be no stranger heah.

On the matter of 17 syllables? can we talk, MBG? I read somewhar' that in English the strict 17 rule din't always work, cause the Japanese counted sounds, not syllables.

Idea was that some of our one syllable words, such as "reigned" were two sounds, (reign /duh) where the long vowel is one sound, the ed added for past tense is the second sound, and these two sound but one syllable words din't do the rhythm of Haiku no favors.

But what does I know, not bein' a revered ancient like ya is, Oh Master Basho's Ghost.

Finally, thanky K9 fer bein' such a great hostess in a pinch.

11:47 AM  
Blogger Aunty Belle said...

Oh, an'
@puerilewaite, LOL!!

11:50 AM  
Blogger boneman said...

yes, Congratulations, Boxer!

And the pug, puerileuwaite, too.

And, I suppose, ghosts are welcome to congratulatory greetings, too!

2:36 PM  
Anonymous Master Basho's Ghost said...

@Aunty,

In Japan we count moras which don't exactly equate to English syllables or sounds. Or Cracker syllables and sounds.

I fully agree with the reasoning of the callow youth who served as judge this week. I'd hire her to replace The Troll as chief acolyte and English haiku judge in a heartbeat.

2:43 PM  
Blogger Karl said...

Good evening K9,

Yea Boxer! We you knew you could do it, so did you.

Alicia, Thank you for judging.

5:52 PM  
Anonymous alicia said...

what a lively group it is. So, Puerile, can I have those two lines you don't want?
I'll be back.
alicia

6:59 AM  
Blogger boneman said...

so... will this period be called LAA?
Life After Ardlair?

6:13 PM  
Blogger xl said...

K9, be my Valentine!

8:11 PM  

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