6.05.2008

poseurs, hags, obama, a poll and my new phone

my friends have been going to see the "sex in the city" movie. some of you may recall my long-time ban on hollywood which i broke only once in 3 years to see "no country for old men". Im sure not going to fall off the wagon for this dipshit-fest. in real life? mr. big wouldnt look twice at this chain-smoking pony-faced hag. i developed my stiff hate-on for SJP when i heard her testify before congress about how her broke ass family was struggling in mean old america. anybody see a problem with this *lack of* reasoning? you can read about it in my magnus opus of hater rappery: i love the smell of napalm in hollywood

the sex in the city gals are the poster hags for the kind of vapid-self-absorbed-too exposed-horndog women who blame men for not getting their wonderfulness, and refusing to marry them and buy their manolos. their big problems are what to wear, what others are wearing, who to sleep with, and when can i have another xanax? i read SJP had a shyt attack because the dress she wore to the film's opening had already been photographed and printed in vogue. the designer lied to her!! america DOES suck!

speaking of sucking, complaining hags; another hollywood movie star has threatened to move if John McCain wins the presidency.



they said the same thing about W's second term; they didnt leave. others promised to leave as well: barbara striesand (another hag), janine garofalo, sean penn, danny glover and kevin spacey; but they never did. always talkin'; never walkin'. these culture warriors are about as authentic as terrifying radicals bill ayers and bernadine dohrn. everybody makes a big deal out of the fact that these are some of Obamas friends. but in the end they were your basic garden variety 'enfant terribles; part of a gang of rich kids who became fashion communists (sometimes blowing themselves up making bombs in Daddy's NYC building) later joined the boojzwah society they condemned. so much for the revolution.

it's kind of like how jeremiah "blame whitey" wright moved himself and his old-fart-compensation-porsche into a lillywhiteland mansion. come tho think of it; all the Atlanta rappers live in upscale lillywhiteland too. why don't they move back to the hood and be real ? why doesn't oil rich Saudi Arabia, Iran and Syria help out their palestinian comrades with some cash flow and education instead of weapons and hate? why did magazine-cover do-gooders U2 move their businesses to evade irish taxation? why is nancy pelosi so cheap spending her own money on charity while confiscating ours to redistribute? grrrrrrherherhahahaha



why does everybody think Michelle Obama hates white people? She obviously has an affinity for the whitest haircut ever known to mankind - the "flip" as worn by marlo thomas in "that girl" and "gidget" and then there's.... bring! bring! beaver cleaver's mother called. she wants her 60's homemaker dress and pearls back. i would be more excited if our next first lady was more like american badass angela davis; better marxist style IMHO. more honest too.

speaking of obama... i have a bet with mr. she that obama will NOT pick hillary for VP. $100. who will win? if obama somehow gets pressured into this choice i will actually feel sorry for him. he'll have beet-faced Bill hanging around hoggin' the camera and stirring the pot. and possibly scamming on his little girls. i don't think obama will pick hillary though - i don't think he needs her to win. how is it that obama can hang around with people for years and never get hip to their character? jeremiah wright, father pfleger *may he blow satan's 10,00 flaming dicks in hell*, meeks, rezko, and all the good people at ACORN? besides being a poor judge of character he flips more than john kerry flopped. he could not disown rev wright! oh yes he could, when politically expedient. he said " I don’t have to show my patriotism to be patriotic. A pin on my lapel is not important.” yeah, not unless you need votes in west virgina. then it was finally leaving the church of shame after 20 years -not because he disagreed with the racist anti-american rants - but because it was hurting the campaign. and its never fair to point out these associations because they arent relevant; yet he never misses a chance to make McCain synonymous with Bush. anytime the clintons tried to point out anything about him he whined about it and complained to his minions in the media. like dennis miller said: "i don't care about the color of his skin; i do care about the thinness of it." boo-ya and amen. Obama will do and say anything to be president. he has the thinnest, lamest resume of anyone running for president in 50 years or more. pitiful. everyone should read this page for a very thorough list of why Barak Hussien Obama is unfit for the presidency.

when obama wins the presidency you will:
self-medicate with reefer and painkillers
move to the czech republic - i hear prague is great!
relax! at last, your white guilt assuaged!
never ever ever learn english. viva la raza!
transfer all assets out of the U.S. of KKA
redecorate the survival pit and stock with grey goose
buy rosetta stone language programs in arabic, farsi and spanish
praise allah!!
suck it up
  
pollcode.com free polls

i got a new cell phone which has a texting keyboard. i would love an iphone but its too expensive so i took the best phone i was eligible for with my plan; which is me mooching off mr she's company. i decided i didnt need a blackberry or something like that - if i have phone internet i will be lost forever and eventually rendered incapable if interacting in a real live social setting. grrrherhahaha. but i love the texting because i was painstakingly punching out messages by sorting through keys that represented several letters...and if i made a mistake it was really hard to fix it. with texting, i can get credit for caring and communicating without actually talking to anyone. (to any readers i may have texted; i dont mean ya'll grrrrherherherherhahaha)

for a little while last week i considered getting a motorcycle or scooter or something to save on gas and global warming and all. then i went over to Emory to plan for my "ancient world art camp" and heard about a girl in the department who recently lost a leg in a scooter accident. now im all like: let the polar bears paddle! grrrerhahaha *jus' kiddin'*

last night on Top Chef the hideous Lisa managed to stay alive when she has been in the bottom two chefs 7 times. every time i see her standing at judge's table, arms crossed in nightclub bouncer stance, with her big-ass double chin and dead eyed petulant stare; i want to take padmas ninja dance knife from her and chop off that piercing on Lisa's eyebrow.

shes the haggiest hag of all the haggards. and she's young. die lisa. DIE.

then last night she was all bummed that richard and stephanie didnt congratulate her "bronze" showing. girl, please! nobody celebrates when evil triumphs! (except the DNC) so DIE LISA DIE. the show last night was not interesting or fun. just terrible. i fell asleep at the 10 PM showing, woke up tried to watch again at 11 and fell asleep again. it must have sucked. and ive been having trouble sleeping! i shouldve TiVoed that sukka for some killer digital soma.

and finally, you might think its hypocritical of me, a sculpture firmly within the category of "middle aged", to be ragging on tv and movie hags for dressing too young and thinking they look cute. but it's not true. ive already adopted an appropriate uniform to shield fellow amerikan comrades *grrrherherhaha* from my sagging skin, crepey decolletage, bald spots, age spots and chunky chicos jewelry:



grrrherhahaha. * ruela and troll: i will do the MEMES next *

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23 Comments:

Blogger The Troll said...

Brilliant. And to think I just tagged you cause I feared you'd run out of subjects to blog upon.

6:19 PM  
Blogger frizzy scissorhands said...

tell us how you really feel, grrrrl. hehe. about the painting ~ wait until July 5 and then send it to the uk address ~ be sure to send it AIRMAIL and also get a tracking number and make it signature required ... just to be safe. I arrive in the uk July 8. i can hardly wait.

i was wondering if there was any other female on the planet that rolls her eyes at all this SJP/sex in the city foo-fra. still, twisted and morbid curiosity might just drive me to go see what the fuss is about.

7:40 PM  
Blogger Mayden' s Voyage said...

Thanks for your text tonight- I read this post to T and nearly died laughing at the "That Girl" image- "Coraspondence" might end up using it :)
Hugs friend...more soon :) You are the best ever-
-me :)

8:08 PM  
Blogger Aunty Belle said...

Aw....Pup, I loves it when ya get all misty an' gentle.

SJP has a recedin' hair line fer Maud's sake. Ain't no man likes her. Her daddy musta owned the studio.

I'se waitin' fer mah TM.

9:28 PM  
Blogger Aunty Belle said...

Hee hee--ho ho --ya gotta read the review of the Sex in th City movie at The New Yorker--calls them wimmin
"like hormonal hobbits, and all obsessed with a ring."

10:37 PM  
Blogger moi said...

Dahlink, there is so much in this I will spend my entire vay-cay thinking about it all. Not really, but it is the only blob I'm reading here at 4:00 in the freakin' AM before the ass crack of dawn breaks. Because I mistimed and got myself up 15 minutes too early. But I just wanted to let you know: I care.

3:50 AM  
Blogger Gypsy said...

That is a very unfetching (is that a word) pic of SJP and you'd think with all her money she would do something about that THING on her chin.

The hype for that movie over here has reached fever pitch and I'm already over it but I will be going to see it. Don't slap me ok?

5:12 AM  
Blogger iamnot said...

I love you when you got your rant on...I really do.

6:11 AM  
Blogger she said...

troll: thank you. im really just recovering from the island voodoo amoeba. you'd transfer funds? of course. capital will be leaving the USofKKA faster than rats off a ship.

frizzy scissorhands: grrrerhahahaha well the fuss is supported by the show which gave the movie a built in audience. but SITC is more like a dark secret - like hiding chocolate in your sock drawer. 10-4 on the shipping!

mayden: you will be missed on these pages. but we'll always have TXT. i was sad to discover the only people who can receive my picture messages are other verizon customers - so i guess you didnt get the photo of the hens. dag!! i bet youre all broke up. grrrerhahaha love to you XO

aunty: grrrerhahaha poor SJP - she had a rough year. Maxim magazine voted her least sexy woman in the USofKKA. but my irritant was that speech to congress. what is TM?

im looking forward to what camille paglia has to say on the matter. always a fun read.

moi: travel safely and have a great time. i want pictures and lots of em! and thanks for stoppin by on the very beginning of your vacation!! *before daylight! im impressed*

gypsy: i wouldnt slap anyone over it especially lovely you! you'll have to give us the aussie review. the famous mole -maybe its one of those kind if you cut it off it gives you cancer or something. i dont know i just know when you have so many things to be grateful for and have managed to succeed, and well, in the USofKKA, then a little gratitude is more attractive than complaining and blaming. grrrrrrrrrr!

********** ********* *******

everytime i see the images coming out of myranmar i think how fortunate we are to have something as basic as clean drinking water. like my dad used to say (and i bet a lot of dads said) stop crying or i will GIVE you something to cry about.

6:22 AM  
Blogger she said...

iamnot: but you didnt VOTE!! dont forget to vote people. grrrerhahaha good to see you. last day in cali?
thanks for stoppin' by.

6:24 AM  
Blogger Aunty Belle said...

Yeesh! Fer a techno wizard Pup, youse slow on the uptake, Baby Doll..TM= Text Message

The Nobama thang is avoided in the combox--folks is stunned that a smart pup like you cain't understand all that promised Hope and Change. Well, doan worry none, Uruguay is nice, I heered. (Yep. I voted: Prague--where they grow men who know how to make a REAL speech!)

7:11 AM  
Blogger NYD said...

grrrrrrherherhahahaha, Massive rant.
The best thing since sliced bread.

After reading this I felt as close as a man can feel about giving birth to a baby.

I voted with my feet.


a long time ago.,

8:47 AM  
Blogger Aunty Belle said...

SHE-Pup, news alert:

JIHAD CANDIDATE (see Aunty's BACK Porch)

9:06 AM  
Blogger Anonymous Boxer said...

Oh! You are SO back! You said everything I wanted to say after seeing SITC, but was too tired and/or dazzled by the scenes of NYC. OK, probably just too tired. How come I never see a good picture of SJP?

I'm off to now vote! Happy Friday.

9:55 AM  
Blogger /t. said...

ha haha ha ah haha hah ah ah aha haha ah hah ahah ahha ah hah ah aha ah ha ha aha hah ah ahah aha ha hah ha ha hah aha ahah ha hah ha ha ah ha ha ha!

come on, she...
you needn't sugar coat it for us :)

¤ ¤ ¤

/t.

10:43 AM  
Blogger iamnot said...

I voted earlier.
I voted to gut it out. I'm a conservative...we look in the mirror, tell ourselves not to be a disgusting liberal whiner...and we gut things out.

11:03 AM  
Blogger Anonymous Boxer said...

Iamnot's a guy who guts things out while wearing Mandels.

12:26 PM  
Blogger ..................... said...

she,
now don't hold back on us..
is this all ya got? lol....

1:09 PM  
Blogger ThursdayNext said...

I am going to just back away slowly and tip toe the fuck outta here...

I am making chocolate cake tonight and made mac and cheese last night and will post recipes and photos this weekend, so come by epicurean escapades! The mac and cheese is Martha's 101 recipe that is slammin', and the chocolate cake recipe is now a toss between a classic Hersheys and a chocolate sour cream.

1:18 PM  
Blogger she said...

aunty: i thought you meant transcendental meditation. grrrerhahaha uruguay? thats where rich people expatriate. maybe they will take me in iceland. "ezzzzlandia" grrrerhahaha

nyd: rants are fun. they are meant to be fun at least. im glad you stopped by with your smart feet.

aunty: i'll be there

anonymous boxer: you know, i hadnt thought of that angle. the love letter to NYC. i would like that.
box away this weekend!

/t: ggrrrrrrherherherhahahahahahaha hahahahaha
grrrrrrherherheahahaha grrrrrrrherherherhhahahhah
ggrrrrrrherherherhahahahahahaha hahahahaha
grrrrrrherherheahahaha grrrrrrrherherherhhahahhahggrrrrrrherherherhahahahahahaha hahahahaha
grrrrrrherherheahahaha grrrrrrrherherherhhahahhahggrrrrrrherherherhahahahahahaha hahahahaha
grrrrrrherherheahahaha grrrrrrrherherherhhahahhahggrrrrrrherherherhahahahahahaha hahahahaha
grrrrrrherherheahahaha grrrrrrrherherherhhahahhah

workin on my sugary sweet chuckle.

iamnot: i voted to suck it up too. for the same reasons. i do want to visit prague tho'

anonymous boxer: grrrrherhahaha now whos piling on? grrrherhahahaha i guess you didnt see his murse

foamy! grrrerhahaha just warmin' up grrrrrrrrrrrrrl.

thursday next: oh now. i hope you read the page i linked to. i suspect you wont. i did read his book - didnt buy it checked it out of the library - then i was more worried than ever. i know better than to think anything written on a blog will change minds so its all fun and games and blowin off steam for me.

except the part about DIE LISA DIE. grrrrerhahahahahaha
i will be along presently for the recipes. im glad you stopped in even if you lurve obamessiah. *just kiddin jane*

4:08 PM  
Blogger ThursdayNext said...

Its ok...we will deal with the pink elephant in the room between now and November just fine, dear poochiepie. :) Will you paint a pink elephant?

6:09 PM  
Blogger iamnot said...

et tu boxer?

It's not a murse, it's a camera bag for Christ's sake!
You guys think I can take all those pictures without carrying cameras?

6:47 AM  
Blogger The Big Shamu said...

Showing up late for this post but I have a question. Since you watch Top Chef, hate Lisa for various reasons unrelated to her cooking, if you had to choose a Top Chef contestant that most resembled you, which one would it be?

9:03 PM  

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