the real housewives of atlanta

this one is for a.b. and moi and the big shamu : a little ditty to celebrate the end of the atlanta housewife train wreck for this season:

it's a ho-down! a showdown!
tonight they gonna throw down!
the real atlanta housewives
contrive to thrive
but thats just jive

i heard from a lil bit-tay bird-day
that miss Kimmy the Kat
she of platinum dreads
(that shyt up on her head - i mean it is hard to conceive of so dreadful a weave)
has been DUMPED by her married indian developer boyfriend
big poppa
whatta show stoppa!
a stunning revelation
for this vacuous abomination
you caint sang grrrrrrrrrl. you cant!
and then you rant
on NeNe's little ditty bout how you
think you is so damn pretty and that aint all thats wrong
you aint never ever ever gonna record that song
with Dallas
meanwhile, not to be callous but how about
sheree
dear God people. her. time. is. worth. something.
she is known for fashion
and i offer this in all compassion
damn, not really
your clothing line was silly and














seriously
when you demonstrated that spread eagle
move on the pole
i swear it touched me in my soul
you really ARE the classy one
the sassy one
the face as long as lassie one

she say:

"kim's the white me; we both so pretty
and thats what drives the other women "kitty"
they haters! thas all
they jealous and enthralled!"

on each others egos they feast
constantly feeding that hungry beast
that's why that friendship is strong
this we have seen all along



btw
what in the hell is wrong
with
deshawn?
that girl aint got it goin on
of all the five she brings the yawn
her lips is frozen
and she cant say "jewelry"
thats probably why there was no flurry at her
JURRY show
nothing sold! an embarrassing flop
*sorry honey* 'bout that
thirty thousand i dropped!


desahwn, now
c'mon
why not just give the money
directly to them girls?
cuz there aint no glory! no fanfare! no
ME ME ME ME ME
and no picture in the pages of society
ya chunky too
and your child shrieks for pancakes like a little tyrant



but Nene's the one who is defiant!
her song on Kimmy was oh so correct
"a hot tranny pageant show reject"
(okay she didnt sing that; that one was mine
but hey i needed to put in that line)





and lawd! curtis is not your father.
dont ever bother
going to a country ass tarot reader
for God's sake Ne Ne!
let your "ont" be your leader
leave it alone
them cousins just want a piece of your home
remember a third is not
a lot - it certainly isnt a half
that was last weeks favorite laugh



now for Lisa
the energizer bunny
nothing about her is remotely funny
she stable and perky and cute and quirky
but i heard a rumor just this day
how ol stable lisa done give away
and lost control on the reunion day


guess who she hit?
and who's gonna sue?
is lisa the shit?
dunno
i think the dark side
has made its debut
i like ed
i do.
i liked his speedo movie
i think the date nights at the house
are really kinda groovy
but i do have a little dig for all of ya


you dont live in atlanta.
none of yall do! ya live in
DULUTH!
that is the truth.
admit it poseurs.
and there aint no trees at any of yall houses
so naw, we aint jealous.